Whenever we say that one “falls,” what do we mean? One can, certainly, fall off a cliff or fall off a chair, but for today, let me speak about what I’m going to call “The Anatomy of a Moral Fall.” The “fall” to which I’m referring is a moral one. While it is absolutely certain that we all fall morally in many ways, I am going to give a few brief thoughts on what I will call a “major” fall. In God’s sight, all moral falls are “major” in a sense because they are all hell-worthy (James 2:10), but it is certain that, in earthly terms, not all “falls” are the same. We can clearly see that there is a difference between a so-called “white lie” about eating an extra cookie, and then, on the other hand, murdering a family and/or committing serial adultery. The results for the latter instances bring about more outward, earthly ruin and devastation, even though over time eating extra cookies will certainly bring about another type of demise!
Additionally, while “major” falls are catastrophic for anyone, they seem to take on an extra pointedness whenever it happens to a minister. Clergy are typically held in high-esteem because, for whatever reason, they are seen in some people’s eyes to be closer to God and should be, therefore, above these types of sins. This type of thinking is, of course, mistaken. Ministers fall like everyone else, especially in the “major” sense. It seems like everyday there is a report of some major failing with a minister somewhere, and the fallout is usually quite devastating to parishioners and onlookers alike. The fall of a minister brings about a darker reproach because it emphasizes, in the eyes of some, that “all Christians are hypocrites anyway,” and can cause serious doubt about the truthfulness of Christianity, and even the existence of God. It must be said that God can forgive any sin. There are no sins so great that God cannot forgive or is unwilling to forgive. Once we die, we will be surprised to find some of the “worse sinners” we’ve known to be present in heaven, and will likely be equally as surprised that many “good people” will be absent from heaven. It is only by trust in Jesus Christ that we are saved, whether you have committed the “worse” sins, or are simply a “good person” who believes that his (or her) good deeds will get to heaven (which they won’t per Ephesians 2:8-9).
With all of this said, I want to outline what I call “The Anatomy of a Fall.” While I believe these factors can help with many types of moral falls, I believe that these ones I list below are very particular to guard against sexual moral falls. What are the factors that contribute to a moral? What makes a man (or a woman), whether a minister or not, want to go down the road of immorality to the extent that lives will be blown up and likely irreparable as a result of it? What are the warning signs, or the detour signals, that come before such a fall? What can be done by anyone (especially a minister) to help prevent this type of fall that hurts so many people?
I think the “anatomy of a fall” comes down to a few factors (in this order):
1. Dissatisfaction with God. When I use the term “dissatisfaction with God,” I mean no closeness to God. A lack of feeling for God. Love for God, to this person, is cold. Personal prayer, finding personal joy & hope in God, is lacking. Singing to God, personally, is gone. I think that most falls of any sort start here. There was a study I read some years ago that tracked 200+ ministers (give or take) who had committed adultery, and the number one factor that was present in almost every case was a loss of private worship and devotion before God. Private Bible study, private prayer, and private worship has fallen by the wayside to these men who committed adultery. This makes sense since, if God is holy, and we are close to Him (the Holy God), then we are more apt to be holy ourselves, and being holy helps to weed out sin that can otherwise fester and grow (fairly naturally, I might add). If you feel distant from God, if it has been a while since your heart has been “warmed” by the love of God through the gospel, then beware, a fall may be coming.
For the minister, if you are finding that your heart has not been “warmed” with God’s love in a while, then you’ll simply become a “professional preacher” and will see ministry work as simply “doing my job” like the banker or construction worker. Does the minister see his life as an offering of love to God? Indeed, the does the butcher, baker, candlestick maker, and the homemaker, see their lives as an offering of love to God? Part of the “work” of our lives IS to maintain closeness to God. Make no mistake: It is work to be close to God. Nothing in our present world will encourage us, or push us, closer to God. There are practices and habits that we must consciously and intentionally choose to do if we are be near to God, just as there are habits and practices which I must do to maintain closeness to others in an earthly relationship. I cannot expect to be close to my spouse if I have not had a meaningful conversation with her in 6 months or in a year’s period of time. This is the same for God.
2. Dissatisfaction with one’s spouse (if married). When I say “dissatisfaction with one’s spouse,” I do not mean that you have one argument or one disagreement. What I mean is that there is no closeness and no excitement. One argument will not end a marriage, but issues not dealt over a long period of time will hurt the marriage. If issues have continued on for years, then this will create bitterness within one spouse (leading them to be dissatisfied), and that will, in turn, lead the other spouse to feel dissatisfied as well. This is not a season of coldness, but sustained coldness. In this case, the couple are not holding hands anymore. They don’t hug or kiss anymore, or if they do, it doesn’t mean anything. Dissatisfaction can set in when the only connecting points between the couple is about kids, bills, business, and calendars. If resentment and bitterness has taken root, then beware, a fall may be coming. You must find ways to connect with each other rather than just the “business” of life. Get away from the house, if you can. Go on a weekend together, without kids, without work, and without the calendar. Play games together. Discuss ideas together. Talk about your dreams and plans together. Open your hearts up to one another and talk about what has been burdening you, or what excites you, or what you are looking forward to. If you are having trouble talking to one another, then just google “Questions to Connect with my spouse,” or use an app like “Intimately Us” or “The Ultimate Intimacy” app to connect with one another.
3. Dissatisfaction with one’s work. Dissatisfaction with one’s work relates to a lack of “meaning” in one’s life because you no longer feel “useful.” When we feel like we are useless, we will get bored and burned out in our work. Indeed, if we are not working (in a paid vocation), and we have family tasks to do instead, and if we feel useless there as well, then we will get bored and burn out. The feeling of uselessness can lead to much sin and destruction. Vocationally-speaking, if the excitement for the work one does is not there, then this is a danger, especially for one in the ministry. If the preacher does not find joy in studying his bible, preparing sermons, and visiting/calling on his people, then he must beware. If you’ve been convinced that what you’re doing is “not working,” then you will not feel like working. This is a danger because if we do not feel like our lives are purposeful, then we will live like there is no purpose and will do whatever we think is right (which is not an accurate measurement of what actually is right).
An old saying says, “An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.” Busy people, who also feel purpose in their busyness, don’t have time to sin and don’t want to sin. They have too many meaningful things to do rather than sin. Sin, to these people, is a distraction to the real work of life. We have tasks to do. We have a purpose to fulfill. We have a destination to reach, and sin is hindrance to that destination. Sin becomes a waste of time whenever we have better things to do with our time. As the T.V. personality said some years ago, “Ain’t Nobody Got Time For That!”
4. Lack of guarding one’s heart from temptation, which is connected to the first 3. This last point is the underlying principle for the first three points already mentioned. We must keep an eye on our hearts at all times. We are either going forward, or we are going backwards. We are either progressing in holiness, or we are digressing towards sin. We are either headed towards God, or we are running from God. There is no way to stand still in our pursuit of God and holiness, and a measurement for this is the status of our hearts. We must be very intentional about guarding our hearts from temptation. Sometimes this means that there are places we don’t go, people we don’t see, and events we miss out on. Sometimes this means restricting our lives in some measure, but we know that it is for our ultimate good that we do so. Whenever we know that ruin and destruction can come through a particular act, we are content and happy to avoid that act by whatever means. If we restrict ourselves, it is for a good purpose, namely, to fulfill our purpose, and to avoid a fall to hinder that purpose. Therefore, with this viewpoint in mind, we will see the restriction as good and not frustrating. In fact, if we will keep our goals of Godliness in mind, we will find more freedom, not less. The reason for this is because we will see that we are free to be who God has called us to be. We are free to make the right choices rather than being bound up in making the wrong, destructive choices. We must keep an eye on what our hearts love, and on what our hearts hate. We must be sure that we are loving the right things (Godliness, Jesus Christ, our families, our work, etc.), and that we are hating the right things (sin, destructive habits, etc.). In these ways, the Lord will help prevent us from falling.
“The soul…craves fulfillment from things outside itself and will embrace earthly joys for satisfaction when it cannot reach spiritual ones. The believer is in spiritual danger if he allows himself to go for any length of time without tasting the love of Christ and savoring the felt comforts of a Savior’s presence. When Christ ceases to fill the heart with satisfaction, our souls will go in silent search of other lovers.” —John Flavel
Q: What else am I missing?
Q: What practical steps can be taken to practice & enhance these principles above?